Make It a Bit Better

After a work staff meeting on Thursday, I came home and decided to work the new company mantra into my to do list at home. After months and months of procrastinating the list has turned into a giant monster that I prefer to hide from. The giant list is so overwhelming that it seems like there is no way to win. But the new mantra says "make it a bit better." Not a lot better, not fix the whole thing right now better. Just a bit better. So in the spirit of Bok, I picked two tasks to do; check on the car repair and get the Christmas decorations up on the shelf in the shed where they belong. Both got done! Not only did I check on the car but the garage had finally finished the repair at long last and it's home. And the house looks just a bit better with those four storage boxes out of the dining room. I think I'll keep this up every day, whether it's a big task that needs a day off to accomplish or a little task that can be done after a 10 hour day. Make it a bit better could be just what I need to slay that monster list one little piece at a time.

Here's a beautiful orchid cactus on the river of stone walkway at Bok Tower Gardens. The flowers are huge and vibrant; like a much larger cousin of the christmas cactus. I can see it from the desk when I'm working in the Visitor Center and it is just gorgeous! Enjoy and have a great week.

Painted into a Corner

Have you ever felt like you've painted yourself into a corner in your life? Felt like you couldn't stand the life you were leading when by all estimations, even your own, it's a pretty good one? That's the place I've found myself at this spring. Usually these feelings precede some momentous change coming but don't necessarily mean that change is coming soon. I hope that it is. The feeling of discontent is difficult to live with. I am very happy with my job at Bok Tower and fervently hoping for a full time position to open there for me. It's at home that I am desperately seeking change. The furniture and curtains needs to be rearranged or just changed out. I still feel like I am holding onto things that I have accumulated through Harold and poverty. My life has changed. I have changed. And what I am surrounded by in my home needs to change with me because I can feel the pull of the past on me, weighting me down. I'm not entirely sure which way to go in the future but I don't want to go back to the past.

I have several options to choose from for the future; crafting jewelry, writing a blog and/or a book, doing online transcription services. I think I'll be doing all of these options, at least in the beginning, to supplement my work income during the slow summer months. And my hope is that by doing all of these separate things that one of them will stand out as a primary source of supplemental income. The challenge is in getting the house set up so that each of these tasks can be done without having to reset a room every time and having the most commonly used items easily accessible. This might entail changing out some furniture, buying some shelving units or toolboxes to store smaller items in. Storage and work space remain my biggest challenges to solve. Well, that and actually putting things away. I absolutely must learn that habit this year.

I'm not sure what the block is on putting things away at home is. At work it is no trouble at all keeping a clean and neat work space. It's part of my routine at work, to put things back every time they're used to exactly the same spot so that I don't have to search for them the next time I need them, even if that next time is just 30 seconds later. It makes for good productivity and efficiency at work and reduces errors. It would make life much easier at home too but I've not done it there for years. Some of that is just falling out of habit when we were moving from one house to the next so much. And while moving so many times we acquired a lot of "stuff" that I still have bits and pieces of and need to make some decisions on. The majority has been dealt with but what's left are things that I like but that may not really be helping me make this shift toward the future.

I am thinking that I also need some enrichment in my life to spark creativity, so I need to look into some low-cost or free summer classes to do that. I know the library has some online courses to do but I'd like something with an actual time and place, as I'm less likely to procrastinate that way. So if anyone knows of any courses like that, drop me a comment, I'd greatly appreciate it. Subject matter could be anything; crafting, history, writing, I have quite diverse interests.

Thoughts on the Root Causes of Procrastination

I read an article this  morning in the New York Times about procrastination that I found interesting to think about. I received the link to it from my LinkedIn email update and here is the link if you'd like to check out the article yourself. Why You Procrastinate (It Has Nothing to Do With Self-Control) Since I am a champion procrastinator, I definitely had to see what this was all about. It did inspire me to go and write this blog post about it, so it is definitely worth a read.

The basic premise of the article is that procrastination isn't about laziness or lack of self-control. Procrastinators often avoid doing tasks by doing something else instead. Something that is often detailed and time-consuming but much lower priority than whatever we were trying to avoid. Contrary to popular opinion, some psychologists have put forth the opinion that procrastination comes into being due to "an inability to manage negative moods around a task." Hmm. I'm with you so far. I can work hard at a task for hours on end but still have things that I put off indefinitely. The doctors in these studies target emotions and moods including boredom, anxiety, insecurity, frustration, resentment, and self-doubt among other less prevalent emotions. Procrastination, they say, is an emotion management problem not a time management problem. Well... yes and no, is my experience.

Part of my procrastination problem is indeed a time management issue. I have difficulty accurately predicting how long it will take to complete a task. All too often I only allow for ideal circumstances and the shortest amount of time and equally often, those ideal circumstances fail to appear. I'm sure none of you are surprised by that. To further compound the problem, by underestimating the time needed, I then schedule too many things to do before having to go somewhere and, also no surprise, run late trying to accomplish them all.  This is when negative emotions come into play as I find myself frustrated and stressed, which results in irritation and resentment at all these things that need to be done and that thought leads straight down the road of procrastination.

There are times when negative emotions are the root cause for me as well. Boring tasks are much more likely to get delayed than interesting ones. I've always struggled with boredom and that has only gotten worse as I've gotten older. It's not that I don't have anything to do or any hobbies; it's that I've grown bored with them. If there's nothing challenging or intriguing about them anymore, I find it incredibly hard to follow through and finish a project. The other emotional cause is resentment. All too often I find myself in a situation where I agreed to do something a few days ago then other things came up in between then and now. Now I find myself with too much to do and not enough time to do it, angry and wondering "why do I do this to myself?" In an effort to meet the obligation of what I had agreed to do, the other tasks get pushed aside and all too often remain undone.

So what is a lifelong procrastinator to do? Well, the psychologists suggest becoming mindful of the emotions and how procrastinating makes you feel in the moment to try and steer yourself into a better space by recognizing how you feel when it comes time to pay the piper. Next suggestion is to visualize what steps you would take next if you were going to do the task, with the idea that this would lead to motivating you to actually do the task. For me... nope. No amount of visualizing steps will motivate me to do the piled up dishes. Their third suggestion has some merit and I've found can work to getting things started; make doing whatever you do as procrastination more inconvenient. Like moving my laptop into the office instead of lounging on the living room sofa with it. The other thing that works well with me is to become my own nag. Self-talk such as "don't sit down until you've switched the laundry loads," and "feed the dog right now before you work on that file." I can't stand my self-nagging but always find myself relieved and surprised at how little time the task took to complete when done on time. You'd think this would become a trend. One can always hope.

Living Life on the Highway or on the Road Less Traveled?

Since I started back to work I've really noticed how little patience society has now for waiting. I'm not talking about in a long line for ten or more minutes but a matter of 10 to 20 seconds. Yes, you read that right, I said seconds. I've seen people change lines with just one person in front of them, nearly run into people in the process, even just miss a fender bender with their cars, all to save themselves 10 seconds waiting behind someone else. Have our lives become so fast paced that we can't slow down at all? Take a breath, look around you, say hello to the person in line behind you.

Depending on the circumstances, I'm as guilty as anyone else, mostly due to running late. Technology has made this even worse. Looking at the weather online and one last check of email, leads to Facebook, then to Instagram and then -- oh no! Now I'm late! I hurry around trying to get everything done and wind up stressed out, irritated, and impatient. This morning I decided to be mindful of the time I had and how much time things took to do. I still had my usual coffee and crossword puzzles (I do two a day, USA Today and The Washington Post) but by being aware and changing the order I normally did things I was able to get the dog out for a leisurely walk and do the dishes, as well as make and eat breakfast and pack a lunch. All this and I was out the door and at work on time. Win!

In another ironic twist, I've taken time each day to let my mind relax, to sit outside on the carport with the pets and enjoy this beautiful weather, and have then gotten more things done afterward. I used to try to focus to get things done first, but then wound up in avoidance behavior on the computer with the result that nothing got done and I was tense and angry with myself. Jim Rohn, an entrepreneur and motivational speaker, once said that the more success you have, the more time you'll have. That struck me as paradoxical but it is proving true in my life. Another thing he said that rings dramatically true is that "failure is not a cataclysmic event." Failure is a group of small failings that build up throughout the day. I've been experiencing that for a very long time now and I wind up feeling angry at myself and the life I'm leading, when it's all down to my own behavior to change it and make it better. So here's to finally applying this belief to my life and reaping the benefits.

What to give up for Lent?

Whew! It's been a while since I have had the chance to write. Lots of extra shifts at work to cover but it was enjoyable being so busy. That's not to say I won't enjoy having some more time off though!

So, yesterday was Ash Wednesday, and although I'm not Catholic, I did give up something for Lent last year. It was quite successful and so I'm doing the same this year. I've gotten into a bad habit of reading online fanfiction stories ad nauseum. Now reading isn't bad, it's the sheer number of hours spent staring at the computer screen when I could be reading one of the many other books that I have and want to read. The computer confines me to one spot, poor posture, and isn't good for your eyes to look at that long without breaks. So for the period of Lent, no reading any fanfiction. This should give me hours of time back to do other things, and yes, even still read but do so with an actual book. Maybe outside in my carport enjoying some beautiful Florida weather. My pup would surely enjoy that as well.

Do you give something up for Lent? I've found it works better for me than a New Year's resolution, as there is a much shorter time limit. I'm not committing to giving it up forever, just for the next six weeks. The benefit is that the six weeks of Lent is long enough to break the habit.

The First New Recipes Tried

So I tried my first recipe from the pile of saved recipes in the house. This one was blandly labeled Ham, Carrot, Apple Bake, and tasted just as bland as its name, in spite of the allspice I added. The flavors were good together, but the dish as a whole didn’t work. So that was a fail. The recipe called for it to be a layered casserole with ham patties on top of sliced carrots and apples. The carrots were parboiled then baked mixed with the apple slices and topped with brown sugar and butter that was supposed to make a glaze but it didn't. Sigh. I think I'll try it again although next time, I'll roast the carrots and apples in glaze separately and serve with pan fried ham patties. The other problem is that this didn't feel like a complete meal. I'm thinking that maybe potato latkes would be a good fit with it. One recipe down, hundreds to go! 

Next up on the list to try was oven baked sweet potato fries and lime mayonnaise, a la Crazy Fish Restaurant style, served with breaded fried haddock and succotash. I've tried sweet potato fries before but find that they can be soggy and they burn easily because of the sugar content. Well, this recipe went much better. The baked fries were quite good, although I need to either cut them thicker or reduce the cooking time. The lime mayo was tasty, even though I didn't have key lime juice, though it needs something else in it to enhance the flavor. Maybe it needs a few more drops of hot sauce, I'm not really sure. There's definitely a key component missing. Also this recipe reminded me that I didn't have a zesting gadget in the house, which I have now rectified. The fish was good. I tried to make life easier by frying it in a pan but the oil was too hot and charred the breading. I should have known better; I despise this flat top electric stove. Back to the deep fryer for me. But I count all of these as a win, just need to adjust cooking time and temperatures.

And now, I have finally braved the world of black bean burgers and love them. I got my recipe from The Pioneer Woman's blog and modified it a bit since I didn't want the quantity hers made. I used seasoned panko instead of regular bread crumbs and added fresh grated Parmesan cheese and Worcestershire sauce. Into the frying pan, five minutes on each side, and yum, yum, yum! Definitely making these again. Need to find a good, hearty bread to pair with these burgers, they deserve better than a hamburger bun. 

I'm on the hunt for recipes to use citrus fruits with. I've put them into salads raw and used them as garnish, but there has to be more ways to use them. Anyone have any ideas?

Lunar Eclipse Night

So last night I stayed up late to watch the lunar eclipse, which was very cool. And the temp outside was very cool too; 43 degrees and windy. Just a few wisps of clouds here and there, otherwise the skies were clear. I tried to take some pictures but I don't have a good zoom or night setting on my phone, still I'm happy with what I got.  But I know what I'm going to spend the remains of my Amazon gift card on; clip on lenses for my phone. 

Here's a picture just as the eclipse was starting. You can see the little wisps of clouds around. The blue dot is an after image from the camera lens. Definitely need to have some night photo software on my phone to filter the light properly. Anyone have any suggestions?

I took this picture at near totality, although you can't guess that from the image. The little bit of light not covered up yet really reflected in the shot. But I'm really happy that you can see the blood moon coloration in the picture. I used the new tripod I got with the right piece to hold my phone or it would have been even fuzzier. More zoom needed here. 

So I'm just wondering, how many of you reading out there are bored? And what do you do to ease that feeling? I like my job a lot but when I'm home, there just isn't anything that is interesting and captivating. It's not that I don't have anything to do because believe me I have plenty that needs to be done, but precious little of it is intriguing or challenging. Now I do know that not everything in life can be that way, there's nothing intriguing about cleaning a toilet after all. But when Sandra was alive, those mundane tasks were made easier to do while having an intriguing conversation. Now that I'm a party of one, I'm finding it harder and harder to get boring tasks done. 

I've tried the "reward yourself" with something after you get a chore done. I've tried checklists but crossing things off as done isn't much of a motivation to do them for me. Just not sure how to go about finding something that is intriguing to think about during the evenings and days off. It's like "Sherlock Holmes" syndrome, I think. I need some conundrum or puzzle to work on and like Sherlock, I'm truly missing my Dr. Watson.

New Year Resolutions - Two weeks late

So, I've been thinking about resolutions for 2019. More than two weeks after New Year's Day, yes, but I am a champion procrastinator. Just missed qualifying for the Olympic team. 😜 For 2019, I've decided that it's time to finish some of these long procrastinated projects and start new ones to procrastinate on. I'm getting bored with these same old half-finished projects around, time to spice it up and get some variety in my life.

So, it's time to finish that Southwest style ripple afghan since it's the 30th anniversary of the year it was begun. I told you I was an Olympic level procrastinator! Oh, and yes, Mom, it's time to finish remodeling the kitchen. That's only 2 years overdue; a drop in the bucket in my world of procrastination.

And along the same theme, it's time to try out all these recipes I've collected over the years when something caught my fancy and I saved the recipe. I have hundreds of recipes that sound good, so in homage to the movie "Julie and Julia", this year I resolve to cook at least 200 of the saved-up recipes and find out whether they live up to the room required to save them. After all, if I clean out the ones that don't work and don't taste good, there's room to collect new recipes, right? Don't judge me, I have taken to saving them as digital .pdf files now. There's room on the back up drive. LOL

And read more! I love to read and have a lot of books, both physical and e-books. I want to be able to say with pride, yes, I have read each and every book in my library, thank you. That's a good thing to do while sitting out on the carport enjoying the breeze and the lake with Strider and Buster.

Also, it's the year of ripping all the music on CDs to .mp3 files. No sense in those 2 iPods sitting empty on the shelf. They might as well be useful, and it keeps the area around the CD changer clutter free. Now you're probably asking, why keep the CD changer then? It's the only FM receiver in the house my radio station comes in on. Sigh.

Time also to edit all the writing done over the years and put it into a readable format, even if Lisa and I are the only ones who will ever read it. And finish those four fanfiction stories I started. Time to clear my head to write new stories. And sort out those pictures to get scanned in at long last. That's only been on the agenda for six years now.

And it is the year to finally get the business up and running out of the planning stages. It went through starts and stops and fits and lulls over the last few years, but I think I finally have a handle on what I want it to look like. I've had a couple of new ideas recently that have me excited to go back to crafting and writing at long last. And a project that will, ironically enough, require me to order more beads. Yes, I have a whole shelf full of beads, but none in enough quantity for a loomed beaded bag. Fire Mountain Gems, here I come!